Friends Don't Let Friends Photograph Their Wedding*

*Unless your friend is a professional and/or you really (really) trust them.

Last week I participated in the Twitter chat #bridalbabble, which I now do every Wednesday at 4pm (Eastern) —join us!— and one of the brides mentioned that she learned a valuable lesson when she and her fiancé had a friend shoot their engagement photos. The photos did not come out well and required a lot of editing before the couple could use them.

It reminded me of what happened 10 years ago when my husband and I got married. A very good friend offered to video tape our wedding as part of her gift to us. We accepted and were very excited. She taped the ceremony and the crucial parts of the reception (the cocktail hour entertainment, bridal party entrance, speeches, cutting the cake, etc).

We were married in early October and a few weeks before Christmas, I inquired about the videos. My friend told me she had actually borrowed the video camera from a friend of hers because she didn’t have her own, and she was waiting for the friend to burn the videos onto a CD. Long story short, for months her friends were too “busy” and then started dodging her calls.

Finally, about three weeks before our first anniversary, I told my friend I wanted to call these people directly and demand my videos. So I called up, reached the husband, and as politely as I could gave him the riot act. He told me that he didn’t think they had my wedding anymore because their computer crashed just days before I called.

Ultimately, they lost our entire ceremony (you know, the part you barely remember because of nerves, emotions, and excitement) but they were able to recover the reception video. We were grateful for that, but I really wanted our ceremony video for so many reasons: to see our faces when we first saw each other, to hear our vows and the duet our friends sang for us, and to see my friend, the priest who married us and has now since passed away.

All of this is to say that if a friend offers to photograph or videotape your wedding, or for financial reasons you need to rely on a friend, be sure you trust them. Based on my experience, here are some things you should consider:

• Make sure it’s someone who will take the task seriously.
• Ask them to show you the equipment they plan to use and see if they can bring a backup camera (and if they’re borrowing it, make sure they a.) know how to use the camera and b.) create the disc, thumb drive, or cloud folder for you before returning the camera – avoid the middleman).
• Ask if they’ve shot a wedding before and see if they can show you any pictures.
• Ask if they have any experience shooting in different lighting situations – even professionals can struggle with dark ballrooms and other lighting issues.
• Have a conversation with that friend about expectations and your desires.

Good quality professional photographers and videographers are absolutely worth the money, however, sometimes couples need to save money in this area. But know that unless the friend is a professional giving you the gift of free or discounted work, or is naturally a talented photographer, you may not get professional results. I just want you to end up with beautiful, clear photographs (and/or videos) because once the wedding day is over, the memories and the images are what remain.

Photo: webdesignhot.com

Custom cake ornaments

There are various ways of preserving the memories of your wedding: high-quality photographs and videos, drying your bouquet, or framing your invitation are just some of the classic options.


If you’re looking for something a little different, try commissioning a custom miniature version of your wedding cake. Aberrant Ornaments creates scaled-down versions of your confection (based off of images you send) and you receive a personalized souvenir of your special day.


Each ornament is hand-sculpted from clay, then hand-painted and sealed. The intricate details of your cake are meticulously replicated and the piece includes a loop at the top so you can hang it like an ornament or display it on a flat surface.


The ornament makes a great wedding gift, but would also be lovely for an anniversary or a couple’s first holiday together. Here are a few examples of their work:


  

     

Two comparisons between the original cake and the ornament:






More information about the pricing and other details can be found on their website.


Photos: Aberrant Ornaments

How to choose your wedding date

Recently, The Knot posted this article about dates you might want to consider skipping when selecting your wedding day.

The religious and cultural holidays seemed the most appropriate to consider. I know when my husband and I got married, several of my relatives on my Jewish father’s side couldn’t make it because our date happened to be a Holy day that year. We would have loved to have those relatives with us, but we chose our date because it had special significance to us as a couple, and any other date wouldn’t have meant as much to us. But if your family is especially religious, or you know a holy or special date would be a real conflict for many of your potential guests, it’s certainly worth keeping that in mind when selecting the date for your big day.

The article mentions many three-day weekends, but I actually like weddings on three-day weekends because it usually means that you can spend more time with the people you came to see. And if you traveled for the wedding, it gives you an extra day to explore the area and/or make the return trip so you don’t have to take off of work—unless you want to, though often people can’t.

Certain dates, September 11 among them, I can see because they are sensitive for some people, rightly so. My personal opinion is that dates like that should be filled with as many new, happy memories as possible; though if you or your family were directly affected, you may want to gauge whether or not anyone would be offended. We went to a wedding on September 11, 2010 and it was a wonderful celebration. September 11 existed as a potential wedding day before 2001 and all of those people still celebrate it as their anniversary; I don’t think it needs to be automatically taken off the table.

Last year, my mother-in-law remarried on New Year’s Eve. Before they firmed up the date, they asked everyone they were inviting (less than 100 people) if they would be willing to travel during the holiday. Everyone was enthusiastic about coming, regardless of the holiday. The ceremony started at 6p, the reception at 7p and ran until 11:30 at night when the décor was switched over in the cocktail area, champagne and desserts were put out, and boas, top hats, confetti, and streamers made for a great way to ring in the new year all together. My husband’s cousin held his wedding on December 27, and everyone traveled for that, too. We brought our Christmas presents with us (my husband’s uncle’s birthday is also Christmas Day) and we just made the whole week a huge family celebration. If you have your heart set on a holiday wedding, check with your friends and family first. You may have a few people who aren’t able or willing to attend, but I bet most people would.

There are some dates in the article that seem a little out there though:

Like checking with your parents about having to share Mother’s or Father’s Day weekends? Do people treat Mother’s and Father’s Days so solemnly that they cannot be shared with any other event? That seems like the biggest stretch of all in the article. They also mention considering that you’d be sharing your own anniversary with those days, were you to have kids, but I think that just sounds like a nice full weekend of celebrating the people and relationships that mean the most.

No matter what date you choose, it will be a beautiful day and you’ll be surrounded by friends and family who love you, and that trumps everything.

What date did you choose and were there any you actively avoided?

Photo: SimpleandStunning2 via Etsy